Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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