Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
