i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
