I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We had sex on a dog bed..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
