but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
