went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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