My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
