yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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