you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize