just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
