I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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