i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
