I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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