she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
