he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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