Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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