end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize