so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
