Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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