Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
