nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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