I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
