is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
