Don't you send me to vm
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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