Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
