I just made out with a guy for $7.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
