The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
