New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Farmville is her only friend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
