he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
