just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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