FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
