yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
