I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Farmville is her only friend.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
