We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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