Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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