girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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