everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
