i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize