she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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