P.S. I can't hear my feet
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize