I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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