If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
