i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
