Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
