just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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