Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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