Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
