thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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