I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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