are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
