I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
