I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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