Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
