i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
