Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
