once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
