it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
