he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize