I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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