Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
