I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
How's work?
Spinning.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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