this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
